Edith Wharton, wrote a short story in the early 1900’s called The Fullness of Life. It alluded to the connection between her bedroom sanctuary and her secret loneliness and sexual frustration. She compared a woman’s nature to “a great house full of rooms.” She wrote that far beyond its hall and salon lie “other rooms, with handles of whose doors are never turned. (Excerpt pulled from House Thinking – Winifred Gallagher, author).
In feng shui we refer to the Tao a lot. There are two sides to the Tao: 1) What is seen and 2) What is not seen. The picture above we see a warm fire, four feet, four hands all obviously connected to a couple. What is not seen are the emotions, thoughts, wishes in each of their minds. We also don’t see comfort and relaxation but feel it in our souls and our skin. The seeds of passion are planted in compassion, and compassion is expressed by providing comforts in all areas of life.
Let’s talk about some of these spaces: bedrooms, entrances and kitchens.
How do we support and maintain the ambiance that we see above?
- Create intimate moments that are unique. – How about a waltz in the kitchen just because?
- Re-create a favorite evening out on your balcony, deck or in a nature setting?
- Maintain your young-at-heart feelings by planning things that are just for the two of you.
- Celebrate love and celebrate life together but also each of you need your own space to grow and glow in the security of your feelings for one another.
- Do not make the TV the main focus in a room. This can cut off deeper conversation with each other.
- Computer games, tablets, etc. slowly but surely can wear away at intimacy in a relationship.
- Keep these out of the bedroom and from meals during the day.
- Make the bed before you leave in the mornings. Facing an unmade bed as you walkin the bedroom at the end of the day does not lend to relaxation for either. It should signal an invitation.
What if you want to attract a significant other that is compatible?
- A person whose home has no empty closets, bureau drawers, or desk drawers is not ready to share her/his life with another. Take note and apply even to yourself.
- Does a television, computer or tablet take center stage in a bedroom? This could be a person who is disconnected from relationship building and the ability to communicate well.
- Red flags in the bedroom such as unkempt bed, work-related materials on nightstand or bed or a single chair dose not bode well in welcoming another person into your life.
- Positive signs are a made-up bed, tidy dresser top, adequate lighting on both sides of the bed, window coverings that both let in light and provide privacy, comforter at edge of bed or on a chair, or candles.
- If you are looking for a mate who has access to his or her emotional life, look for one who stocks a refrigerator with flair and loves to cook. Feeding another is the plate on which caring is served.
- A caring person might have a bowl of fruit on the counter, fresh flowers, throw rug near the sink,
- According to Nancilee Wydra, founder of FSIA, the word relationships begins with relate. The first visible sign of who we are and how we relate is at the threshold of a dwelling.
- Look for cared-for landscape, healthy vegetation, flowers, shoveled or cleared walkways, ell-maintained exterior, clearly identified entrance doorway. Does this person take you into the dwelling via a side door or garage level? Being escorted through the main front door says you are important enough to this person to honor you with the main entrance as your introduction.
More on relationship reading in Part 3. So start looking at your own spaces and see what they are saying to the outside world.